to you, my seven angels,it’s strange how life is sometimes. back in the beginning of 2017, i would have never thought i’d be writing this, yet here we are. life can really be strange, but it’s definitely the best kind of strange.i first found about you through this youtuber. he decided to react to two of your songs, not today and dope, and so i watched along. i thought the songs were catchy, listened to them in full and since i wanted to listen to more, i asked my friend for recommendations. she sent me a ton of songs, along with a thread introducing all of you. i read through the thread, learning little facts and who you were in general, and already liked you. i listened to a few songs on the list of recommendations, and since they were in chronological order, i listened to older songs and i remember wondering what i was listening to, which is funny when you think about it, i was honestly quite stumped as no more dream is kind of a very different vibe to dope. i told myself i would listen to the rest of the songs she suggested another day, but me being me, i never got around to it. fast forward 4 months later: dna just came out, and i see it in the top trends on twitter. i tell myself that hey, i had liked some songs, and i never gave you guys a shot, so might as well listen to the song. first listen, i remember already loving the song so much, and i remember it was just 4 minutes of me trying to tell who was who. it was a bit of a mess honestly, but the more i watched, the more i loved the song and most importantly loved you and your energy. i remember telling myself that i wouldn’t become a fan, but then watching the video and feeling my heart flip at just little actions you guys did in the music video. that’s when it all really started. i told myself fuck it, and i dived right in. i made my first bts mutual, got added to a bts gc, and it started from there, with dumb crack videos on youtube and listening to as many songs as possible. then, my friend and i went on rabbit, she showed me a ton of songs, videos of you, theories, and that’s when i felt myself falling for you for the first time. it just clicked so fast honestly. one day, you were nobodies to me, the next you already meant a lot to me. as the days went by, i learned more about each and every one of you, learned what you had gone through, as a group and as individuals, and i learned to appreciate all of you for who you are. with every new tweet, video, picture, i fell more and more.i remember the first time i cried because of your lyrics. it was the beginning of february 2018, and i decided to check out the lyrics to tomorrow. as soon as i read them, i started crying, relating to them so much and feeling for the first time in a year like there was finally someone who understood my struggle, and who was also there to tell me it would be okay. those lyrics honestly hit me really hard, and today, that song is still one of my absolute favorites, and the lyrics still get to me a lot. then, i read the lyrics to 2! 3! and god. i really cried a lot. i remember sitting there, listening to the song and reading the lyrics and just feeling like everything would finally be okay, when i hadn’t felt that way in a long while. for once, i finally felt hope, optimism, and most importantly, i felt loved, i felt like you were actually there by my side, ready to help me out through all my darkest days. that song has helped me more times than i can count, and it truly has become a comfort song, the song i turn to whenever i feel any kind of bad emotion. it’s also the song that truly proves to me that music can transcend any language, because even though i can’t understand, i at least know the general message of the song, and i can still be comforted by it.

there have been many other songs that have helped me too, have reminded me that i am not alone in this suffering. thanks to those songs, for the first time in two years, i was able to finally feel some hope, some motivation. your songs and lyrics have helped me through tough periods many many times, and they’ve reminded me that things get better. they’ve also helped me understand that you too are human, and that you too have suffered. i know you haven’t had it easy, the beginning of this journey was rough for you all, and you could have given up at any moment, yet you kept on going. you kept on going, and you decided to share your strength, your determination and your suffering through your songs. you decided you would become the voice of young people, that you would help others who are suffering. that’s what i will always admire the most about you: how genuine you’ve stayed throughout this whole adventure. there have been many instances where you could have decided to let the fame get to your head, but you decided to stay true to yourselves, and to be there to help others out, and for that i thank you immensely.seeing you live was honestly one of the best things that has happened to me in 2018 and 2019. i will never forget the two nights i got to spend in your presence in hamilton, and i will always hold fond memories very close to my heart whenever i think of those nights. same thing goes for metlife. it was honestly incredible to be able to hear and see so many songs i've grown to love, sung and performed by the seven people that have made me the happiest i ever have. being there in your presence, surrounded by so many other armys, made me forget all my worries and sad thoughts. i really felt like nothing could ever go wrong, and the atmosphere overall was incredible, something i will always remember. it was incredible to be able to see each of you shine individually in your solos, but also as a team, to be able to see how in sync you all are, and how well you fit together. it's still hard to think that i saw you, the same people i keep seeing everywhere else going around the world, doing performances and interviews for so many. and it's still hard to think that you saw me, actual mari, and that you know i exist and that i am your fan. you all perform incredibly well, and i will forever be glad i was able to see you. thank you always for amazing evenings i will never forget, i'm so glad i was able to experience that and that i was able to be happy with you for two and a half hours.to you, to all seven of you, you have truly helped me in life and have shown me that things get better, no matter what the universe throws at me. in times where i needed reassurance, a shoulder to cry on, you were always there in the shape of your music. words will never be able to properly explain how grateful i am to have you all in my life. every single one of you has impacted me in some way or another, and i could never imagine not loving all seven of you. so, thank you to each one of you. thank you to you namjoon, for constantly inspiring me with your wise words, and for helping me see life under a brighter light. thank you to you seokjin, for showing me that you can make anything possible if you put the effort and will into it, and that great results can come from it. thank you to you yoongi, for showing me that it’s okay to sometimes break down and to be negative, that it doesn’t make me less of a person to be afraid, but rather, it makes me more human. thank you to you hoseok, for making me learn to go out of my comfort zone and for showing me that when you are truly passionate about something, you can accomplish incredible things. thank you to you jimin, for showing me that it’s okay to be insecure, because there’s always a way to improve upon yourself and show the world the best version of you there is. thank you to you taehyung, for allowing me to see the happiness in little things, for learning once again to appreciate what life gives me, and to make the best out of it. thank you to you jungkook, for showing me that no matter what anyone says, you can come out on top and be successful, even if you weren’t sure you’d make it, and even if you were terrified. and finally, thank you to you bts, to all seven of you as a team, as a family. you’ve shown me that life can truly be great and that you can feel real, genuine happiness. you’ve done more for me in the last years than other people have in my whole life, and i will forever be in debt to you. thank you. from the bottom of my heart. and i love you, always and forever. i promise.-mari

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to you, the prettiest flower of all, the warmest sunset ever, the brightest star in my galaxy,this letter is to you, someone who has made me happier than most people ever have. this letter is to you, someone whom i call my one and only, because it truly feels like it is that way, and that it will stay that way for a long time. to you, someone who helps me every single day on my road to self love, even if it’s by the tiniest bit. this letter is to you, jung hoseok.i remember the first time i saw you. well, it’s more like the first time i read about you and learned about who you were. i was reading a thread introducing all of bts, but you caught my attention the most. i can’t really recall what it was, but the way you were described, your personality, everything about you i liked. when dna dropped, and i first saw it, i remember vividly being swoon over by your smile. i remember thinking that you were so beautiful, being so happy about dancing. that’s when i started liking bts, and where this whole journey started. at first, i didn’t really know who my bias would be. i was going with you by default from the fact i liked you the most a few months ago when i had learned about you, but i remember being confused. but i guess you already had me stuck on you, because i settled on you after all. i don’t remember when i started liking you so much. i guess every new day, learning more about all of you, watching videos of you, seeing pictures, it really made me know you better. so fast, you started meaning a lot to me, making me smile with the simplest of actions. even after maybe 3 months of liking you guys, i was head over heels for you. it sounds a bit weird i guess, but i really did already consider you as someone who means a lot to me even after such a short period of time. reading lyrics from you guys made me appreciate you that bit more too.when hope world came out, i was ecstatic, and i guess a bit overdramatic to some of my friends, but i was so excited. i was so excited to see what came out of your mind, what you had been working on for so long, and that you were finally ready to share with the world. i remember watching the daydream music video after a long day of waiting and just sobbing, because all my anticipation had built up, but also because i was so proud of you. a huge wave of love just came rushing over me as i listened to it and listened to the rest of your mixtape. up to this day, i’m still truly proud of the way it turned out. i remember being a bit scared i wouldn’t like it much, because i know you’re into hip hop a lot, and that’s not really my cup of tea, but you surprised me, coming out with something that sounded so different from what i had expected but that was so you.seeing you live in hamilton and at metlife was honestly one of the best things i could have ever asked for. i remember when i got the tickets for hamilton back in may 2018 and i just couldn’t believe it. honestly, it took me a while to hit me that i was seeing you. i remember watching events and thinking “wow, i’m seeing him, i’m seeing hoseok, i’m seeing him perform that song”. when i saw you for the first time ever, i remember the moment it hit me that you were there, your actual self. you were introducing yourself after idol, and i looked at you, on the stage, not the screen, and my brain just kinda clicked: it was you, the real you, and you were there, shining so brightly and it was just really overwhelming to think the person who had made me so happy was actually right in front of me. i also remember during run, you came on the extended stage, and that’s when i was able to see you well. i just looked at you for the majority of it, and i started sobbing. i started sobbing because i could see you so well and i could see how beautiful you were, i could see every single facial expression you made and i realized right then and there i wanted to stay in that moment forever, just looking at you and listening to you performing. then, hamilton day 2 came along, and i got barricade. god. the moment you went on the extended stage during just dance, i lost it. in my videos it’s funny, because all you hear is me saying “oh my god” over and over again, but in my head, so many thoughts were running everywhere. it’s hard to really pinpoint one thing i thought of you, because i was so overwhelmed, and thinking back, i still am. it was just unbelievable to be so close to you. i remember at the end of it, i just looked at my friend and yelled “oh my god he’s so beautiful!” because really, you are. you’re stunning, and seeing you performing, smiling so widely and dancing just made you that much more pretty. it was amazing to see you perform, you have such an amazing stage presence, and throughout the whole thing, you looked so damn happy. it warmed my heart to see you do something you genuinely love. metlife was even more memorable. i remember during day 2 when i was floor, i looked at you during mikrokosmos and your eyes were sparkling as you were looking at the thousands of lights.

all these things, all these events, all the time passing, listening to you, watching videos with you in them, seeing pictures, learning about you, it made me fall. i fell for you, and not romantically, not in the sense of wanting to date you. i guess that doesn’t make much sense to some people, but it does to me. i just fell for you, someone who makes me extremely happy no matter the situation. i fell in love with your smile, how bright it is and how beautiful it looks when you smile so hard and your mouth becomes a heart. i fell in love with your laugh, how melodious it sounds and how sometimes, it sounds a bit like squeaking, and at other times, it’s so loud. i fell in love with all the little features you have that make you unique: the mole above your lips, your small dimples when you smile or eat, the way your ears fold when you wear hats. i fell in love with your energy, how hyped you are about everything, how you always do something embarrassing but endearing at every occasion you get. i fell in love with your kindness, how much you care for others’ wellbeing and how you would go to the ends of the earth just to make the people around you feel better. i fell in love with your lyrics, the way you express yourself through your music, how you put your thoughts into words. i fell in love with your rapping, how you get fully immersed in the song, how much feeling and emotion you put when you perform, how you can truly feel the meaning of the song. i fell in love with your singing, the way you calmly do it, as if you couldn’t sing any louder by fear of waking someone up, you sing so soothingly, putting all your emotion into it. i fell in love with the way you dance, how you can tell a whole story with just movements, how incredibly in control you are over your body. i fell in love with how passionate you are about whatever you truly like, whether it be composing, rapping or dancing, you put your all into everything you do, and you pour your heart and soul into it. in short, i really fell in love with you, and with everything about you. whenever i’m sad, i can just see a picture of you and feel a bit better, even if it isn’t by a huge amount. whenever you tweet, i get so happy, seeing your face and seeing what you’re up to. honestly, nobody has had that much effect on me before, i’ve never been so happy from anyone so easily.you also help me so much to love myself. since 2017, my mental health has taken a hit, and my self esteem has decreased a lot. but you, you remind me of myself. you remind me of my normal self, bright, happy, energetic, caring about others. i see myself in you so much. so sometimes, when i want to do something, and i’m scared of what might happen, how others might see me, i think of you. i think of how stupidly embarrassing you can be, doing the most shameless things in front of anyone, strangers or not, and i do it. i don’t really know how many times i’ve refrained from doing something embarrassing in public, but then thought of you, and just said “fuck it” and did it, trying to let loose and go out of my comfort zone. you help me, even if you don’t know it or realize it, and you've really shown me that i have reasons i should love myself. i think about you all the time, i see things, hear songs on the radio, and i think of you, of how you’d like this, of how you would react to this. it’s nice i guess, to always have you as someone i can come back to whenever i feel unsafe or sad. you’re like my home, a secure place where i feel warm and happy. you truly are my hope, my hope for better and happier days, where i can feel real happiness, and can love myself for who i truly am.so, thank you my love. thank you for being in my life, for bringing so much light and energy into it. my life has improved so much since you came into it, and i will forever be grateful by how much you’ve helped me, and how much you will continue helping me in the future. you mean so much to me, more than anyone. yes, i’ve never met you. yes, i don’t know you personally, and i never will. yes, you’re an idol who’s incredibly famous. but you’re my person, my one and only. in my eyes, you will always be that. and in my heart, you will always have an important place, making life so much easier, and guiding me through my darkness. thank you, my sunshine, my little sunflower. i love you. truly.-mari

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